


The Worst of Us

by Itsthecolorsyouhave



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: ? perhaps, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I am writing this fic instead of going to therapy, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mai kinda sucks in this one, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Sokka is going to be hurting, ill try to make it better tho, im so sorry but I needed an antagonist, zuko is going to also be hurting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-27 02:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30115443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsthecolorsyouhave/pseuds/Itsthecolorsyouhave
Summary: Sokka stood next to the love of his life on a warm Summer day and watched him marry someone else.///Watching Zuko get married was supposed to be the hard part. Why, then, does everything hurt so much more after?
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	1. Something Blue

Sokka stood next to the love of his life on a warm Summer day and watched him marry someone else. 

This, he thought, however fleetingly, is what it feels like when your heart is ripped in two. 

The gravity of his situation hadn’t hit him until this point. Even under the crushing weight of being in love with his best friend and the debilitating guilt that it carried, he swallowed down the hurt and he did what is was supposed to do. 

He didn’t stop him. 

He didn’t stop him when Zuko said he was going to propose. He didn’t stop him when Mai said yes. He didn’t stop him at the bachelor party, that he had meticulously planned, just like a best man should. 

Sokka planned a party, and Zuko planned his life around someone else. 

With every passing day, they got closer to the inevitable, and still, Sokka didn’t stop him.  
He wonders, briefly, as the couple says their vows, if it would have changed anything. 

Right there, if front of everyone, he lets himself imagine what could have been. 

He could have told Zuko he was in love with him the night he realized it for himself. The night Bumi was born and suddenly “the man with a plan” was little more than a lost puppy. 

Aang had called, and told him there had been some complications. When Sokka started to panic, it was Zuko who came through and took charge. He ushered Sokka into to the car, drove him to the hospital, and talked to the people who needed to be talked to. 

It wasn’t until they knew both Katara and Bumi were perfectly healthy, did Zuko take the comforting hand off Sokka’s back. 

Sokka missed the warmth like a lung. 

The running joke in their circle was that it was the night the hothead kept his cool. But it was also the night that Sokka looked at Zuko, really looked at him, and realized he never actually wanted to stop. 

He could have told him, then. It would have made the most sense. 

But then, maybe, he could have told him the night he met Mai. 

Zuko had been so excited to introduce the two of them, even Sokka felt pressured to make sure it went well. So, naturally, it did not. 

They had all decided to meet up at a party, and the second Sokka laid eyes on her he thought, _this makes sense_. However, as the night wore on, Sokka became more and more convinced that his best friend was actually suffering from acute delirium. 

Sokka tried all the classics and every joke he had in his repertoire. Growing desperate, he even told her the fishhook story. Still, the only reaction he could glean from her was a sigh and the occasional hum of indifference. 

It hurt. Really, physically hurt. He watched Zuko, Zuko watched Mai, and Sokka burned. 

At that point he was already three months deep into the pining game. 

It hadn’t felt right to tell him just yet. 

When Sokka met Mai, he felt safe. There was no way the thing between them would get too serious. At least not before Sokka had time to figure it all out. 

Later that night, when Zuko asked him what he thought, he could have told the truth. He could have told him that he could do better. 

He could have told him that he was in love with him. 

But, he didn’t. And here they are. 

If he had told him, where would they be now? 

Engaged? Estranged? The latter seems unlikely. They had fumbled around each other for years before they broke it off to form serious relationships. They had kissed before and stayed close. Of course, that had been when they were teenagers. 

But, what’s a love confession between friends?

They would be together, that much Sokka knows. They would be together if he wasn’t so indecisive. If he wasn’t such a coward. 

If he would have just said something he would probably get to kiss him whenever he wanted. Sokka would wake Zuko up every morning with a kiss to his temple just to give him the chance to breathe him in. He would be sure to make him laugh every day. He always knows how to make Zuko laugh. He always knows what Zuko needs. They would be able to hold hands, and babysit Bumi, and hold each other when everything just got to be too much. And, perhaps best of all, he wouldn’t have to watch him marry someone else. 

The swelling music and polite applause bring Sokka out of his reverie just in time to lay witness to Mai and Zuko’s first kiss as a married couple. 

And even though Sokka can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears, and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of him—he can’t help but smile. 

As much as it hurts, Zuko is happy. 

He’s happy and so, so beautiful. He’s wearing formal robes and although he says it was his uncle’s idea, Sokka really couldn’t have pictured him in anything else. He’s barefoot, though they both are. Zuko’s hair is tied up but with intricate braids throughout— a gift from Katara. As cliche as it sounds, Zuko is glowing. So is Mai, in her own right. It occurs to Sokka, then, that this the freest he’s ever looked.

Zuko, a sleek and stunning combination of traditional and modern. Mai, poised and beautiful in her gown, made up of reds, blacks, and maroons. 

They look like the kind of couple you see in movies and magazines. The kind of couple you write stories and songs about. Maybe, they were always meant to be. 

Maybe it’s a good thing Sokka got out of the way. 

Zuko’s cheeks are tinged pink and when he looks out at his closest friends and family he ducks his head, grinning. He runs the hand that had been cupping Mai’s face down her arm and laces their fingers together. 

For a single moment, just before they walk down the aisle, he turns back, looks at Sokka, and beams, radiant as the sun and twice as bright.

Everything hurts. 

With a smile plastered on his face, Sokka finally allows the tears that he had been biting back to fall. 

The hardest part is over. There are no more opportunities for _what if_. Zuko is going to be happy and Sokka is going to move on. He’s finally going to be able to grieve what he lost, and bury deep in the ground. 

It was never supposed to be them, anyway. 

He steps forward after Zuko, wraps Ty Lee’s arm up in his, and follows the newlyweds down the aisle.


	2. Rings on My Friends Left Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mention of past underage marijuana use
> 
> Chapter title from “I Don’t Really” by Andy Shauf
> 
> I will almost definitely have a playlist for this fic very soon.

Katara kicked at his foot underneath the table, “you know, I feel like you’re usually a lot more fun at parties.” 

Sokka rolled his eyes before replying, “I’m fun everywhere.” 

“‘I’m fun everywhere,’ he says, moping in the corner at a party” she said, leaning back in her seat and doing an objectively terrible impression. 

He wanted to argue, but he was too tired. And, frankly, too drunk. Katara could kick his ass on a good day, but between his broken heart and the liquor coursing through his veins he’d never stand a chance. 

It wasn’t her fault, either. Katara had no idea that he was hopelessly in love with Zuko. The only time she had even suspected there might be something more going on between them was back when they were in high school and Sokka would lock his door every time Zuko came over. 

Of course, they were usually just trying to get high without getting caught, but his sister was a Grade A narc before she started hanging out with Toph, so she never got invited. 

Katara was a lot cooler, now, though. For a mom, and a child bride. At least by Sokka’s standards. Though Katara would argue that there were plenty of twenty year old children getting married to their high school boyfriends. 

Lucky for Katara, her high school boyfriend was Aang, arguably the single best person Sokka has ever known. Lucky for Aang, too, otherwise Sokka probably would of had to kick his ass. Or, you know, try. 

But they were good together. And they were even better as parents.

Sokka knew firsthand how motherly Katara could be. At first he felt bad for the kid, worried that Bumi would never be able to get away with anything while Katara was around. As it turned out, having a baby actually chilled Katara out. She took everything in stride, a master at healing scraped knees and cutting the crust off of PB&J’s. 

Aang, on the otherhand, was a bit more inexperienced. As a result, he lost himself in the novelty of it. Aang was one of those dads who kept pictures of his kid in his wallet and showed them to strangers while waiting in line at the grocery store. He had also perfected his ability to steer almost any adult conversation back to Bumi. It took both Sokka _and_ Katara almost two years to convince him to leave the kid with a babysitter and enjoy a night out every once in a while. 

That was what they were doing tonight. Bumi was with a sitter, Aang was tipsy off too much Prosecco, and Katara was participating in her favorite activity—nagging Sokka. 

“Katara, as much as I’d love to sit here and debate how fun and hot I am, I really think you should go make sure your husband doesn’t fall into the punch bowl.”

Katara’s eyes grew wide as she turned to scan the room for Aang. He appeared to be involved in a very animated discussion with a complete stranger—most likely telling the story about Bumi’s first word. (It was “da” so that one usually got him pretty riled up.) He was also precariously leaned against a punch table that Sokka was sure would not be able to support his full weight. 

Katara turned back to him and narrowed her eyes, “I’m only leaving this conversation because someone needs to save that guy from Aang,” she pointed a finger at his chest, “if you don’t start at least pretending like you’re happy for your best friend, so help me Sokka, I will never make you sea prunes again.” 

She stood up, taking one last swig of her drink, “and I never said anything about you being hot, dickbag.”

With that, she was across the room and pulling Aang onto the dance floor. 

As far as his sister knew, he just didn’t like Mai. Which was true. Mai was depressing and condescending in a way that made Sokka’s skin itch. She always had a knack for picking out his insecurities, or worse, picking apart the things he cared about. 

Once, fairly early on in the relationship, Sokka had planned Zuko a birthday party. He had even baked the cake himself and, sure, he was no professional decorator but it tasted good and he was proud of it. 

Sokka had just planned to invite the gang before he decided at the last minute to extend an invite to Zuko’s new girlfriend. They hadn’t had many opportunities to hang out, and he was still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

That was—until Mai came over early with cake that would have easily set Sokka back at least two paychecks. 

He had told her when he invited her that he had everything covered, but apparently it wasn’t enough. 

The rest of the night Sokka’s cake sat lumpy and uneaten on the counter. He threw it out the next morning. 

Of course, that may have been the first time but it certainly wasn’t the last. 

Her most recent dig came when she made fun of his bachelor party itinerary—like he hadn’t actually dedicated almost a month of planning to it. 

Mai was the worst. 

But it’s not like he went around talking about her. Zuko was in love with her, so he was off limits. Katara and Aang were too busy with a kid to devote time to his complaints. Toph would listen, but she would definitely hit him. 

No, it was simply safer and healthier for him to just shove everything deep, deep down and never speak to anyone, ever. About any of it. 

Sokka sighed and pushed his hair back out of his face. He’d worn it down specifically for today, and if anyone asked it was because he was trying something new. It was definitely not because of that one time that he and Zuko were seventeen and had been ‘practicing making out’ for the tenth time when Zuko accidentally let it slip that he liked when Sokka left his hair down. No way. That would be pathetic. And weird. 

Zuko probably didn’t even remember saying that. 

The music lulled for a moment and suddenly there was a congregation forming around the dance floor. It was time for the married couple to share their first dance. 

Sokka had really been dreading this part. 

From where he was sitting, he could just barely see Zuko and Mai as they walked to the center of the floor. They turned to each other, smiling wide and definitely a little embarrassed. 

When the music started back up, they were off. Zuko kept his hands gentle, but possessive on Mai’s waist, spinning her around the room. Sokka knows that they went to dance classes specifically for the occasion—that’s something rich people do. But he can’t help feel something twist deep down in him when he thinks about just how naturally they fit together. 

When the song ends, there’s a smattering of applause before everyone else rejoins them on the dance floor. 

Katara and Aang are dancing around each other in that way that attracts way too much attention. But, they’re happy—smiling and laughing and falling into each other. 

Sokka definitely needs another drink. 

Just as he sets his empty glass back on the table, Katara’s seat is occupied once again. 

“Want to dance, Snoozles?”

“Are you just looking for an excuse to step on my feet?”

Toph laughs before crossing her arms, “hey, don’t think you’re so special, I was going to step on everyone’s feet.”

Sokka laughs and for the first time that night, it feels genuine. Toph has a way of sapping the tension from a weird situation. Especially, when the weird situation is actually meant to be a secret that no one was supposed to know about—including her. 

As much as Toph loves to instigate fights, friendly or otherwise, she’s always been overwhelmingly supportive and sincere when her friends are actually going through a hard time. 

And she’s been able to read Sokka like a book since the day they met. 

Sokka was, embarrassingly enough, in a fraternity. When he wasn’t at the gym or in class, you could typically find him in a drunken haze somewhere in the frat house. What could he say? He was a freshman with next to no friends after moving halfway across the country to go to school. Plus, it was Zuko’s idea. 

He met Toph at a party after accidentally tripping over her cane—although, after getting to know her, he has no doubt she had probably tripped him intentionally at her first opportunity—he spent the next two minutes apologizing and coddling and trying to make sure she wasn’t hurt. Obviously, Toph was not having it and tried to push him away only for him to indignantly call out, “ _where is your caretaker?_ ” 

Toph, absolute babe that she is, promptly decked him. Clutching his jaw, she asked him, “ _are you done?_ ” to which he replied, “ _yes, please._ ”

Afterwards, she got him some ice and challenged him to a keg stand. 

She’s been affectionately punching him ever since. 

“Sorry, Toph,” Sokka sighed, “I just don’t think I’m in the dancing mood, right now.”

“That’s okay, I didn’t really think you would be,” she said, far too knowingly. 

Sokka smiled to himself, a little sad, before looking back out at the sea of dancing partygoers. Another sappy, romantic song is playing over the speakers. Katara is leading Aang in a dance that he is decidedly far too drunk to do well, but is still absolutely giving it his all. 

Sokka, always a glutton for punishment, starts looking for Zuko. He sees Mai with Ty Lee and Azula engaged in a strange slow dance-hug. Azula looks like she’d rather be anywhere else, but Sokka knows that isn’t true. He knows how important family is to her after everything she and Zuko had been through—and today she gained a sister. 

Sokka scans the room, again, for black hair and golden eyes. That is, until the object of his affection sits down in the seat next to him. 

“Don’t feel like dancing?” Zuko asks, happy and a little bit breathless. 

Sokka digs deep for every bit of charisma he can muster and huffs a laugh. 

He taps his knee before sighing, “Sorry, Zooks, as much as I’d love to show you up on the dance floor, I’m afraid the old knee won’t allow it. Besides, I’d hate for your new wife to fall in love with me on your wedding day. Too scandalous. Very embarrassing.”

“I really have no idea why I asked you to be my best man,” Zuko says, stone faced, before softening, “are you okay, though?”

There’s so much concern etched on Zuko’s face it makes his heart ache. In a perfect world and under different circumstances, Sokka would kiss his worry away. 

“Yeah—yeah, man, I’m good. Go be happy and in love.” He says, his voice just the wrong side of husky. Deep, like he’s on the verge of tears. If it’s one thing that has the power to break Sokka, it’s being asked if he’s okay. 

Denial and avoidance are always the safer options. 

Zuko looks at him a little strangely, but must think better of it. He reaches over to Sokka’s good knee and gives it a little squeeze before replying, “that sounds like a good idea. Find me before you head out, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” he smiles, and raises his empty glass in salute as Zuko stands and walks back to his wife. 

Sokka coughs quietly, trying desperately to regain control of his emotions. He wishes desperately that there would have been more alcohol in his system before that conversation. 

Toph readjusts next to him before sighing, then, loud enough for only him to hear,

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I know,” he says and stalks off toward the bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have had this up sooner but my birthday was on Tuesday and I’m still recuperating lol. I have 90% of the next chapter done so barring any unforeseen circumstances it should be up by.... Monday? Maybe??

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not much of a writer, but god do I love a story. I’ll do my best with this, and we’ll see how it goes. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr!  
> @highchiefkatara


End file.
